
ENGLISH
I was thinking about the meaning of friendship these days.
I’ve been thinking about it for months, actually.
People are quick in defining.
Define anything: that steel is cold when it isn’t true (see here), that every relationship is love, that spending the Saturday night together means friendship.
What is friendship?
I answer with the first things that come to my mind: friendship means always being there for the other, especially in the worst moments.
It is unconditional support.
It is putting aside pride, giving without asking, it is love but without constraints and restrictions.
It is understanding and empathy. Above all, empathy.
Maybe not everyone knows what it is, many confuse it with simply being together, with laughter, with Saturday nights.
This is because the opportunities to demonstrate the friendship’s values are – indeed – few.
It only happens sometimes, when life suddenly cracks and something breaks in the harmony of the evening laughter. It is there that the truth is revealed.
They say that in the worst moments you suddenly find yourself alone.
Because it’s in those moments that friendship should prove itself, and it’s then that we discover the absurd confusion to which we are all subject: that true friendship is rare (because people with values and purely altruistic are rare) and that it doesn’t exist a word that instead classifies all those people with whom you spend the best moments, but who are not real friends. Friendship is different.
It would take a word halfway between friendship and knowledge, a step before friendship but with a more pleasant connotation than simple “knowledge”. They should invent it. We would stop lying and confusing ourselves, and swinging between disbelief, disappointment and anger in the dark moments in the presence of nobody – because nobody was a true friend.
Mom’s loss was the balance on which I weighed all my life, my strength, my love, the people I know.
The sufficiency with which I was treated brought down the veil that repaired what called themselves friends, showing indifference and immaturity.
I’m not in a position to give understanding to anyone, it should be the other way around. Nor third possibilities – I’ve already given the second ones.
I’ve the right, like anyone, to choose who to have by my side and with whom to share my precious time, which could run out at any moment as with Mom.
I’m sorry it went this way, but it wasn’t my fault.
My life has changed completely for 8 months.
xx Dasynka
ITALIANO

Riflettevo sul significato dell’amicizia, in questi giorni.
Ci sto riflettendo da mesi, in realtà.
Le persone sono veloci nel definire.
Definire qualsiasi cosa: che l’acciaio sia freddo quando invece non è vero (vedi qui), che ogni relazione sia amore, che trascorrere il sabato sera insieme significhi amicizia.
Cos’è l’amicizia?
Rispondo con le prime cose che mi vengono in mente: amicizia significa esserci per l’altro sempre, soprattutto nei momenti peggiori.
È sostegno incondizionato.
È mettere da parte l’orgoglio, è dare senza chiedere, è amore ma senza vincoli e restrizioni.
È comprensione ed empatia. Soprattutto empatia.
Forse non tutti sappiamo cosa sia, molti la confondono con il semplice stare insieme, con le risate, col sabato sera.
Questo perché le occasioni per dimostrare i valori dell’amicizia sono – invero – pochi.
Succede solo a volte, quando la vita d’un tratto si incrina e qualcosa si spezza nell’armonia della risata serale. È lì che si palesa la verità.
Dicono che nei momenti peggiori ci si ritrovi d’un tratto soli.
Perché è in quei momenti che l’amicizia dovrebbe dimostrarsi, ed è allora che scopriamo l’assurda confusione a cui tutti siamo soggetti: che l’amicizia vera è rara (perché rare sono le persone con valori e puramente altruiste) e che non esiste una parola che invece classifichi tutte quelle persone con cui si trascorrono i momenti migliori, ma che veri amici non sono. L’amicizia è altro.
Servirebbe una parola a metà tra amicizia e conoscenza, un passo prima dell’amicizia ma con una connotazione più simpatica della semplice “conoscenza”. Dovrebbero inventarla. Smetteremmo di mentirci e di confonderci, e di oscillare tra incredulità delusione e rabbia nei momenti bui alla presenza di nessuno – perché nessuno era amico vero.
La perdita di Mamma è stata la bilancia su cui ho pesato tutta la mia vita, la mia forza, il mio amore, le persone che conosco.
La sufficienza con cui sono stata trattata ha fatto cadere il velo che riparava quelli che si definivano amici, mostrando indifferenza ed immaturità.
Non sono nella posizione di dover concedere comprensione a nessuno, dovrebbe essere il contrario. Né terze possibilità – le seconde le ho già date.
Ho il diritto, come chiunque, di scegliere chi avere al mio fianco e con chi condividere il mio tempo prezioso, che potrebbe esaurirsi in qualsiasi istante come con Mamma.
Mi dispiace sia andata così, ma non è stata colpa mia.
La mia vita è cambiata completamente da 8 mesi.
xx Dasynka
Photography by Carmela.vix, www.carmelavicedomini.it
50 commenti
Io sono convinta che i veri amici ti stiano sempre accanto, anche a kilometri di distanza, e ci siano sia nei momenti di grande felicità che in quelli di estrema difficoltà. Riescono a confortarti e supportarti anche solo con uno sguardo.
Detto questo, adoro il tuo outfit, molto fine! ❤
Ed è esattamente come dovrebbe essere 🙂 grazie! xx ❤️
I love your bag! I often contemplate what friendship is as well. I’ll spend hours thinking!
Kim
It’s so important to hve a precius idea of what it means to us and what we wanna from our friends 🙂 xx
Interesting reflection girl. For me, friendship is understanding and supportive, which I find is hard to find sometimes. Btw, I love your outfit so much!
It’s really hard to find, just some lucky times. Thank you 🙂 xx
Tesoro la vita ci pone davanti delle sfide sempre difficili ♥️
Sono convinta che i avere amici sono quelli che ti aiutano a superarle, anche restando in silenzio.
Sei una ragazza forte non lo dimenticare mai
Restando in silenzio ma non andandosene, e io riconosco la differenza poichè ho avuto entrambe le cose. Ti ringrazio davvero tanto per il tuo continuo supporto❤ xx
Well, for me friendship is all about trusting each other 🙂 Anyway, love how you styled total black with scarf and bag, so chic and beautiful, just like you <3
xoxo,
|CHELSHEAFLO|
Yes, trusting is another importnt think in a relationship 🙂 thank you so much❤, xx
Love those ripped jeans! I think friendship is finding someone you can trust and who enables you to be your best self.
xx Yasmin
Oh yes, I also think that 🙂 xx
I totally love your outfit:) THe scarf is so cute!
irinathayer.com
Thanks! xx
Che bel look hai ricreato con capi semplici! Bellissima riflessione
Grazie, xx
Very interesting reflection about friendship, and your look is great, love the scarf!
Kisses
Thank you so, xx
I’m really sorry to hear that about your mom, I hope all is well and that wish the best for you and your family. I hope you have lots of friends and people to share your days with! And ps, love your outfit, so casual and glam at the same time!
Thank you so much for your words, xx
È doloroso ma è la scelta più giusta ♥️
Bellissimi i pantaloni e la borsa ♥️
Ti ringrazio❤️ xx
Simply stunning! Love the entire look!
Thank you! xx
I agree, friendship is proven in hard times when things don´t go smoothly and you need to rely on someone.
And in that times you realized who are the real friends, xx
There are a lot of things that define what friendship is. I agree with you, it’s someone who will be there for you through the thick and thin; giving you unconditional support and motivation. At the same time, they would try to steer you towards the right path (and not go down a bad hole).
I’ve faced a few bad situations when I was alone. It wasn’t great but at the end of the day, it helped me realize who my real friends are.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts :).
Yes, I also realized who are the real ones. Thank you for your words, it means a lot for me❤️ xx
So sorry about your Mum, that is truly a time in your life when you need your friends. I lost my mother about 5 years ago and some friends were there for me, others not so much. I was lucky that I have an incredible bond with my sister and I could lean on her and she on me. <3
You know, that is my same situation: just a couple of friends and my sister who is everything for me❤️ thank you for have spent some words for me, and to have read me, it’s so important for me❤️ xx
Beautiful scarf and amazing outfit!:)
Thanks, xx
I found that especially an I grew older true friends were really hard to find! I guess it’s good to have two three really good ones than tons of fake ones.
Dora
Exactly, just two or three, and you can feel so lucky 🙂 xx
Such a cute look, I love every single piece!
Kisses, Paola.
Thank you 🙂 xx
Such a pretty look!! Love those ripped jeans, babe!
Thank you! xx
Every piece in this outfit looks beautiful!
Always time and the circumstances of life show us who are our true friends and then we learn in which relationships we need to focus and invest our time 🙂
Have a great weekend!
Andrea.
Yes, time is the very big teacher of life. Thank you so much, xx
È proprio nei momenti complicati che emergono le qualità delle persone. È molto doloroso ma aiuta a lasciare andare certe persone di cui non abbiamo bisogno
Esatto. Bisogna avere la fermezza di scegliere chi avere al nostro fianco, xx
Absolutely beautiful writing. I love your outfit so much too – particularly your scarf!
Heather xx
Thank you so much, really xx
Beautiful, and eloquent description of your perspective on friendship!
I’m happy you’re agree 🙂 xx
I’m in LOVE with your outfit!!!!
Have an awesome day!
xx, Kris
Thank you so 🙂 xx
Such a beautiful post and story, thanks for sharing!
Also, your outfit is so cute! 🙂
Thank you 🙂 xx