June 10 is my Name Day, and for me it represents the official start of summer.
Since 4 years I spend it in Positano.
But not this year.
These images date back to 2 years ago: my Dad was bedridden for 6 months, and our life was completely dedicated to him.
I had started working from home, I only went out to go to the hospital, or pharmacy, or doctors, or supermarket. I cooked, cleaned, helped the nurses, then, while he rested, I worked.
In June he was hospitalized for the second chemo cycle.
Every day, in turn, my sister and I drove 50km to assist him in the hospital.
I asked him if on the 10th, for one day, my uncle could replace us.
He had nodded without questions, no pleasantries among us.
That evening I greeted him with a heart weighed down by guilt.
But when the next day I arrived in Positano, I breathed as if I was being born again. A feeling of complete detachment from my story.
I went out my life for 12h.
The only time in 7 months.
That day, so happy and full of laughter so genuine that we seemed to carry a story of pleasant frivolities on our shoulders;
that day sealed a series of habits that we repeat as if it were a ritual every time we come back here.
1. Eat the best sorbet of my life, at the Covo dei Saraceni. Offered inside a typical lemon of the Amalfi Coast.
2. Walk the road that starts right there, next to the Covo, and leads to a semi-hidden beach, before the Fornillo beach, before passing the La Marinella restaurant, a very small but enchanting bight.
There were few people, I hadn’t even brought my swimsuit because it was enough for me to be there with my feet in the sand and the sound of the sea in my head.
The sun leaves early from that inlet, so we went back to the center.
3. Have dinner at my favorite restaurant: Chez Black. Spaghetti with seafood. They also make heart-shaped pizzas. The prices are high but worth the effort at least once. The interior of the restaurant recalls the room of a ship, the colors, the wood, the details of the chairs, the portholes, the oil lamps, the hand-painted dishes. And the bathrooms are also sophisticated.
I always ask to sit on the internal sofa, my favorite place. Or next to one of the external mermaids.
4. Strolling the rest of the time aimlessly, peeking through the various art galleries, going up to the church, stopping at the shops, unwittingly finding ourselves at the starting point two or three times, as if going round and round.
Positano is a small poem whispered among the glimpses of shimmering blue waters and houses like lives crammed, into the perception of a chaotic yet harmonious whole, in this absence of balance cause life has no formulas of mathematical precision, everything happens like an outbreak and you seem to not understand anything.
But if you take a step back,
and gradually move away,
you can see it,
the complete drawing.
All the joints that are perfect.
All those architectures and colors that match perfectly and then,
you see the harmony.
In that explosion everything ended up exactly where it was supposed to, what case – but case basically doesn’t exist.
And here we are. To understand life, accepting it as it is because poetry is in this romantic composition of programmed causalities,
if you close your eyes and listen to it, you can hear it, an endless melody coming from the sea.
I just needed to get confused between the lives of the people who passed by me,, lose recognizing myself in a lost found lightheartedness, to which few but precise intersections are enough – I learned well to appreciate all the rest of the unexpected.
Returning home in the evening, I had called Dad to ask him how the day had gone, what he had eaten, what transfusions he had done. Everything good. Then I wished him goodnight. I would have seen him the next day.
I’m still waiting for your wishes, Daddy.
I know that if I don’t come to you saying with a sulky kiss “But do you remember that today is my Name Day?” you don’t remember it, and only after laughing would you say “Best wishes!” almost like you’re kidding me.
I couldn’t do it at the time, and I can’t do it now. I didn’t care if you remembered it, I just wanted to hear you say it.But I’ll have to wait a little longer.
During these months of lockdown for coronavirus, I felt like I had returned to that condition in a way. It isn’t the first year that I’ve spent so much time at home leaving the rest of my life outside the door. The situations are different in many aspects, but I’m used to the unexpected.
Today I tried to relive those emotions through photos and memories. Even this now is enough for me.
Meanwhile, I prepared a cake at home, Blue New York Cheesecake with white chocolate, blueberries and strawberries; I received a bouquet of white flowers and ate a pizza with a few friends.Thanks to whoever spent a few minutes to send me wishes, you gave me more than you think❤
Il 10 Giugno è il mio onomastico, e per me rappresenta l’inizio ufficiale dell’estate.
Sono 4 anni che lo trascorro a Positano.
Ma non quest’anno.
Queste immagini risalgono a 2 anni fa: mio padre era allettato da 6 mesi, e la nostra vita era completamente dedita a lui.
Avevo iniziato a lavorare da casa, uscivo solo per andare in ospedale, o farmacia, o medico curante, o supermercato. Cucinavo, pulivo, aiutavo gli infermieri, poi, mentre lui riposava, lavoravo.
A Giugno era ricoverato per il secondo ciclo di chemio.
Ogni giorno, a turno, io e mia sorella guidavamo 50km per assisterlo in ospedale.
Gli avevo chiesto se il 10, per un solo giorno, potesse sostituirci mio zio.
Aveva annuito senza domande, nessun convenevole tra noi.
Quella sera l’ho salutato col cuore appesantito dai sensi di colpa.
Ma quando il giorno dopo sono arrivata a Positano, ho respirato come se stessi rinascendo. Una sensazione di completo distacco dalla mia storia.
Sono uscita per 12h dalla mia vita.
L’unica volta in 7 mesi.
Quel giorno, così felice e pieno di risate così genuine che a vederci sembrava portassimo sulle nostre spalle una storia di piacevoli frivolezze;
quel giorno ha suggellato una serie di abitudini che ripetiamo come fosse un rituale ogni volta che torniamo qui.
1. Mangiare il sorbetto migliore della mia vita, al Covo dei Saraceni. Offerto all’interno di un tipico limone della Costiera.
2. Percorrere la stradina che inizia proprio lì, accanto al Covo, e conduce ad una spiaggetta seminascosta, prima della spiaggia Fornillo, prima di superare il Ristorante La Marinella, un ansa piccolissima ma incantevole.
C’erano poche persone, non avevo portato neanche il costume perché mi bastava anche solo essere lì con i piedi nella sabbia e il rumore del mare nella testa.
Il sole va via presto da quella insenatura, così siamo tornate al centro.
3. Cenare al mio ristorante preferito: Chez Black. Spaghetti ai frutti di mare. Fanno anche le pizze a forma di cuore. I prezzi sono alti ma vale la pena almeno una volta. L’interno del ristorante ricorda la sala di una nave, i colori, il legno, i dettagli delle sedie, gli oblò, le lampade ad olio, i piatti dipinti a mano. E anche i bagni sono raffinati.
Chiedo sempre di sedermi sul divanetto interno, il mio posto preferito. Oppure accanto una delle sirene esterne.
4. Passeggiare senza meta il resto del tempo, sbirciando le varie gallerie d’arte, salendo alla chiesa, fermandoci ai negozi, ritrovandoci involontariamente al punto di partenza due o tre volte, come girando in tondo.
Positano è una piccola poesia sussurrata tra gli scorci di acque azzurre luccicanti e case come vite stipate, nella percezione di un insieme caotico eppure armonico in questa assenza di equilibri perché la vita non ha formule di precisione matematica, succede tutto come uno scoppio, sembra di non capirci nulla.
Ma se fai un passo indietro,
e poco a poco ti allontani,
riesci a vederlo,
il disegno completo.
Tutti gli incastri che sono perfetti.
Tutte quelle architetture e quei colori che combaciano a meraviglia e allora,
l’armonia la vedi.
In quell’esplosione ogni cosa è finita esattamente dove doveva, che caso – ma il caso in fondo non esiste.
Ed eccoci qui. A comprendere la vita, accettandola com’è perché la poesia è in questa romantica composizione di casualità programmate,
se chiudi gli occhi e ascolti, la senti, che arriva dal mare, una melodia senza fine.
Io avevo solo bisogno di confondermi tra le vite delle persone che mi passavano accanto, perdermi riconoscermi in una spensieratezza smarrita ritrovata, a cui bastano poche ma precise intersezioni – il resto degli imprevisti ho imparato bene ad apprezzarli.
Tornando a casa di sera, avevo chiamato Papà per chiedergli come fosse trascorsa la giornata, cosa avesse mangiato, che trasfusioni avesse fatto. Tutto bene. Poi gli ho augurato la buonanotte. L’avrei visto il giorno dopo.
Sto ancora aspettando i tuoi auguri, Pà.
So che se non vengo da te dicendoti con un bacio imbronciato “Ma ti ricordi che oggi è il mio onomastico?” tu non lo ricordi, e solo dopo ridendo diresti “Auguri!” quasi come se mi stessi prendendo in giro.
Non potevo farlo in quel momento, e non posso farlo adesso. Non mi importava che lo ricordassi, volevo solo sentirtelo dire.
Ma dovrò aspettare ancora un po’.
Durante questi mesi di lockdown per il coronavirus, mi è sembrato di essere tornata un po’ a quella condizione. Non è il primo anno che trascorro tanto tempo in casa lasciando il resto della mia vita fuori la porta. Le situazioni sono diverse in molti aspetti, ma ho sviluppato il callo agli imprevisti.
Oggi ho provato a rivivere quelle emozioni attraverso le foto e i ricordi. Adesso mi basta anche questo.
Intanto ho preparato un dolce a casa, Blue New York Cheesecake cioccolato bianco mirtilli e fragole, ho ricevuto un mazzo di fiori e ho mangiato una pizza con pochi amici.
Grazie a chiunque ha speso qualche minuto per farmi gli auguri, mi avete dato più di quanto pensiate❤
Photography by Carmela.vix, www.carmelavicedomini.it
This looks so fun dear! Love your outfits, so cute on you!
Thanks for sharing
It was fun 🙂 thanks! xx
I’m sorry! These photos are absolutely gorgeous though. Glad you are so strong and are working through this with what seems to be the best attitude. I wish everything would at least settle so we could travel.
Thank you so much for these kind words, for the time to took to read and write.. this means a lot to me❤️ xx
The place is amazing! Also, your dress is gorgeous!
Yes Positano is amazing! Thank you 🙂 xx
These are such beautiful photos of Positano and you look gorgeous in this maxi dress.
I’m so sorry to hear about your dad though and I’m glad you had this magical day.
Thank you very much for your words❤️ xx
Happy name day! I’ve never heard of a name day before so I had to look it up to know what it was. I learned something new today! Thank you for sharing! 🙂
But I’m really sorry to hear that you’ve had to go through those hardships. Still, you sound like a very devoted daughter to your dad and I’m sure he really appreciated all the effort and time that you put into looking after him 🙂
The photos are beautiful though! Looks like a gorgeous, gorgeous place. I wish I could visit someday too, when the situation’s all better <3
Claudine, you are such a sweet soul, thank you for taking time to read and to write to me. Your words made my day❤️
And I hope you’ll start to celebrate your nameday too, it’s just a way to double your birthday in someway haha xx
Oh my gosh these shots are absolutely stunning!!
They could be in a fashion magazine <3
have a great day,
Omg thank you very much, you’re so sweet 🙂 xx
Such lovely pictures but even more your story touched me – hearbreaking.
I hope you had still a good time celebrating and belated wishes for your name day <3
Thank you so so much for your wishes, ❤️ xx
Positano is like a dream! You look beautiful in that maxi dress.
Oh thanks so much! xx
I love everything about this post – the location (LOVE POSITANO SOOO MUCH!). edit, sunset shots and your feminine dress.
Thank you very much! xx
Wonderful photos ♥
I am so happy that you got to go out and enjoy your Name day! You and your sister are sweethearts – I love that you do everything you can for your dad. Love the things you did when you were out. You can never go wrong with the right sorbet. Even though we are in a pandemic, I am happy that you still got to enjoy yourself. Sending you best wishes!
I tried to find a way to enjoy the day from home, though memories and friends. Thank you so much as always❤️ xx
I would love to be able to visit there someday! Your photos are gorgeous!
Positano is truly amazing, xx
Thanks for sharing the story about your dad, I have so much respect for you and other children out there who are able to nurse their parents. My mother was very ill last year and my sister had to look after her in America and she had to cook for her, clean her surgical scars, clean the bed, look after her husband, her chiildren, go to work…you have to be so strong…
These images are absolutely stunning! Your dress and the landscape are bellisima ( ; and the dessert looks yummy! Xo
This was my same situation, with my Mom first and then with my Dad. And I think it’s a beautiful way to give them back all the love and care they had given us when we were babies. ❤️ xx
These photos are absolutely beautiful! I would love to visit one day!
Definetly a must to see! Thank you btw 🙂 xx
Literally SUCH a beautiful little corner of the world! I want to see it in person someday. Your photos are drop-dead gorgeous!
Thanks so! Yes, Positano is such a precious place, worths to be seen 🙂 xx
I’m so sorry to hear of your hardships and the bittersweet memories this quarantine has brought back. I hope you can go back and make more beautiful memories there!
These pictures are beautiful by the way
Thank you so much for your sweetness, I hope the situation is better where you are too❤️ xx
It looks so stunning! Hoping to visit Positano soon!
It truly is, worths a visit! xx
Oh I’m so sorry to hear that.
This day seemed so peaceful tho. The pictures are beautiful. I hope you’ll be able to come back there soon.
And Happy name day ! 🙂
Thank you very much! It was an amazing day during those months, much better than the nameday of this year to be honest, but these images brought me all the happy memories and I can’t wait to be back soon❤️ xx
I am so sorry for what you went through and happy that you ave at least such a great memory.
Oh thank you for you kind words, yes I’m so greatful for everything❤️ xx
What a beautiful pastel maxi dress and it sounds like you had a lovely day, I hope you can return soon! Sorry to hear about your dad though.
Hope that you are having a nice weekend 🙂
It was an incredible day that year, not this one I have to be honest but I’m happy anyway 🙂 xx
What a marvelous place! And you look fantastic here! I hope you had a nice nameday and that this will be over soon, so you can continue to create beautiful memories!
Thank you so much, yes Positano in such a dream! xx
Understanding Life is a gift. I am glad that you strived through hardships bravely. More and more strength to you and your dad…
Thank you very very much for your words❤️ xx
Bellissima Positano! Adoro il tuo vestito
Grazie mille! xx
You are stunning! These photos are just so beautiful!
Thank you so much 🙂 xx
I can see why this year would remind you of that, I hope you can make it to Positano next year! Your photos here are absolutely beautiful. And the cheesecake looks delicious too! x
Oh thank you for your wishes, I hope so too! ❤️ xx
I am sorry you went through this hardship. Lets hope the future will be better for all. And LOVE these photos they are brilliant!!
Thank you so so much for your words❤️ xx
Such a sad story, I’m sorry to hear! Positano looks picture perfect, I definitely need to visit one day.
Little Glittery Box
Oh no, I didn’t mean to tell a sad story.. I was so happy that day, much more than on the nameday of this year.. I just wanted to re-live all that happiness in my favorite place☺️ xx
What a lovely post and lovelier pictures! I hope your father is dong better now and I wish him and your family the best.
The coronavirus really took a toll on everyone and basically spring and summer is cancelled. Positano defiantly holds a special place in your heart. I’ll definitely have to visit there to experience such beauty.
Love this post!
Oh babe, my parents passed, but life is beautiful in every aspect with its rights to happen.
This year is really strange due to covid and I also don’t know if will be able to travel!
Thanks anyway for your wishes❤️ xx
I’m really sorry go here that. Wishing you the best darling!
The rest of this year is going to be amazing for you!
Thank you for you wishes❤️ xx
Happy name day. I am glad you managed to have a nice day. You sound very devoted to your father, someone close to me was having chemo and it was very tough on them and the family. I’m glad you managed to have a day like this where you could let go for a little while. xo
Thank you so much☺️ it was the happiest day if those 7 months, I mean lighthearted … and yes, the chemo is so tough to manege, not only for who has it but also for the ones beside.
Life goes on, and there’s good in everything❤️ xx
Positano really does look like one of the most beautiful places in the world, I would love to visit! These photographs are absolutely beautiful, it looks like you had a great time.
Yes it’s definetly one of the places I love the most and that makes me feel better☺️ this year it wasn’t very good, but that year was amazing despite everything❤️ xx
Phenomenal pictures ♥
Thank you very much ❤️ xx
Happy weekend <3
You too! xx