
ENGLISH
The day after Mom’s funeral we escaped in Rome to breathe a new and different air.
To let the sun warm us, the scenarios confuse us and the change created an unreal bubble around us like in a dream.
I no longer have any perception of time, it’s as if nothing has changed in my life, or it has never been different from this. Mum’s lack comes to me with sudden gusts of wind, then calm down and it seems to me she could return at any moment, after one of her travels.
I dream of her every night in different everyday situations and in all she is present even if she shouldn’t, and for me it’s absolutely natural to see her in the church stands at the mass dedicated to her or reflected in a shop window while I walk on the street.
Sometimes I feel her absence as presence, presence in myself, as if a part of me was her, a part of my thoughts. I know what she could tell me in any situation, and if before I told her things for the sake of sharing them, now I just have to think about them and it’s as if we were talking about them. As if we were two minds in one body, two presences in one. One whole. She’s always present.
Now I understand perfectly the meaning of the phrase ‘those who leave never really leave us’. They always remain within us.
It’s all about independence and complete knowledge.
It was a long time since I no longer depended on Mum and that I managed my life in autonomy, as a consequence of my living alone. And I got to know her without reservations, we were in complete harmony. I understood her approach to life, her periods of depression, her feelings and thoughts.
In the morgue I didn’t recognize that body like her, it was a foreign thing that didn’t belong to me.
I happen to think that there was nothing else she still had to teach me.
But to achieve this it’s essential not to depend on who we love. Don’t have regrets, don’t miss out opportunities. Being able to have a complete knowledge of the other to get to foresee their thoughts, advices, ideas.
This is what leads to a part of those who leave us to live in us, the immaterial and most important part.
But to achieve this it’s essential to not depend on who we love. Have no regrets, not to miss opportunities. Being able to have a complete knowledge of the other so you get to predict the thoughts, suggestions, ideas. This is what leads us to let cohabit within us a part of who leaves us, that part immaterial and more important.
At the funeral I was dressed exactly like this: in white.
Some told me that seeing me and my sister smiling and in white conveyed a sense of peace and serenity. And that was what we wanted.
We need to look beyond events to understand the ultimate meaning of destiny.
Every end is a beginning. (here)
Rome is enchanting. The sun was so hot that I went out without a coat.
We visited the Colosseum and the Roman Forum, and had lunch at Aromaticus, a small and cozy place: a kind of small glass greenhouse was created on one wall for aromatic plants such as mint, lemon balm, which they use within their healthy recipes. We had couscous with mexican vegetable dressing, baked potatoes with gorgonzola, soy meatballs with aubergine sauce. And fresh fruit and vegetable smoothies: for me mint and pineapple. Never tasted a better smoothie. They offer lemon mint flavored water and other herbs. It’s located near the Cavour metro.
Rome gave me two days of infinite peace. We remembered many things about Mom and being there made everything unreal and soft, laughter. Life is a wonderful game, if you understand and accept its rules.
xx Dasynka
ITALIANO

Il giorno dopo il funerale di Mamma siamo scappati a Roma, per respirare un’aria nuova e diversa.
Per lasciare che il sole ci riscaldasse, che gli scenari ci confondessero e il cambiamento creasse una bolla irreale intorno a noi come in un sogno.
Non ho più percezione del tempo, è come se non fosse cambiato nulla nella mia vita, oppure non è mai stata diversa da questo. La mancanza di Mamma mi arriva a folate di vento improvvise, poi si calma e mi sembra potrebbe tornare da un momento all’altro, dopo uno dei suoi viaggi.
La sogno ogni notte in diverse situazioni quotidiane e in tutte lei è presente anche se non dovrebbe, e per me è assolutamente naturale vederla tra gli spalti della chiesa alla messa dedicata a lei oppure riflessa in una vetrina mentre passeggio per strada.
Sento a volte la sua assenza come presenza, presenza in me stessa, come se una parte di me fosse lei, una parte dei miei pensieri. So cosa potrebbe dirmi in qualsiasi situazione, e se prima le raccontavo le cose per il gusto di condividerle, adesso mi basta pensarle ed è come se le stessi parlando. Come se fossimo due menti in un corpo, due presenze in una. Un tutt’uno. È sempre presente.
Adesso capisco perfettamente il significato della frase ‘chi se ne va non ci lascia mai veramente’. Che restano sempre dentro di noi.
È tutta una questione di indipendenza e conoscenza completa.
Era da tanto che non dipendevo più da Mamma e che gestivo la mia vita in autonomia, in conseguenza al mio vivere sola. E ho imparato a conoscerla senza riserve, eravamo in completa sintonia. Capivo il suo approccio alla vita, i suoi periodi di depressione, i suoi sentimenti e pensieri.
In obitorio non riconoscevo quel corpo come lei, era una cosa estranea che non mi apparteneva.
Mi capita di pensare che non c’era altro che avesse ancora da insegnarmi.
Ma per arrivare a questo è indispensabile non dipendere da chi amiamo. Non avere rimpianti, non perdere occasioni. Riuscire ad avere una conoscenza completa dell’altro da arrivare a prevederne i pensieri, i consigli, le idee.
È questo che ci porta a far convivere dentro noi una parte di chi ci lascia, quella immateriale e più importante.
Al funerale ero vestita esattamente così: di bianco.
Alcuni mi hanno detto che vedere me e mia sorella sorridenti e bianche trasmetteva un senso di pace e serenità. Ed era quello che volevamo.
Bisogna guardare oltre gli avvenimenti per capire il senso ultimo del destino.
Ogni fine è un inizio. (qui)
Roma è incantevole. Il sole era così caldo che sono uscita senza cappotto.
Abbiamo visitato il Colosseo e il Foro Romano, e pranzato da Aromaticus, un posticino piccolo e accogliente, unico nel suo genere: su una parete è stata realizzata una specie di piccola serra di vetro per piantine aromatiche come la menta, la melissa, la mentuccia, che usano all’interno delle loro ricette healthy. Abbiamo assaggiato couscous con condimento di verdure alla messicana, patate al forno con gorgonzola, polpette di soia con salsa di melanzane. E frullati di freschi di frutta e verdura: per me menta e ananas. Mai assaggiato un frullato migliore. Offrono acqua aromatizzata al limone menta e altre erbe. Si trova vicino alla metro Cavour.
Roma mi ha regalato due giornate di pace infinita. Abbiamo ricordato tante cose di Mamma e stare lì rendeva tutto irreale e leggero, risate. La vita è un gioco meraviglioso, se si comprendono e accettano le sue regole.
xx Dasynka
Photography by me and Carmela.vix, www.carmelavicedomini.it
34 commenti
“Rome, thou art a whole world, it is true, and yet without love this
World would not be the world, Rome would cease to be Rome…”
That’s so true, what characterizes us is part of us 🙂 xx
I love it. They have the most comfortable shoes! These holiday outfits are so cute!
Oh yes! Thank you so 🙂 xx
I am sorry to hear about your mom. I’m sure she will be dearly miss. You do look wonderful though on the other hand.
-Didier
Thank you so much, Inreally approciate it❤️
Mi spiace per la tua perdita, stai benissimo in bianco!
Federica Di Nardo
Ti ringrazio❤️
These pictures are magical. You are making me want to book a ticket to Rome right now!
xo
Siffat
It’s an honor for me to convey the beauty of Rome! Thank you so xx
I’m sorry for the loss babe. It’s a beautiful piece of writing and the photos are so amazingly taken! I have specially loves for Rome. It’s such a beautiful city! hopefully I will be able to visit soon again.
Btw, wish you an amazing 2017 giving that there are only 21 days left for 2016!
xx, Jessie
Thank you so much, I really approciate it <3
Wonderful city and wonderful photos! Love your sweater!
Have a good Friday!
You too! xx
I love your sweater! great photo spot!
Thanks! xx
This is such a beautiful post – lovely photos, all so pretty! 🙂
Layla xx
Thank you so! xx
Stunning ! Great photos !
Nina
xox
Thanks! xx
Great photos it seems wonderful ♡
Kisses ♡
Thank you! xx
Wow looks so nice! I love your outfit. Gemma x
Thank you so! xx
Those pics are super beautiful !!
Thank you so much! xx
Stunning! Love the white vibe!
Kisses & Happy Monday,
Thank you! xx
I find Rome is the place I go to get away and ‘be at one with myself’ again- so I completely understand where you’re coming from. Lovely sentiment in getting away and visiting somewhere so historical and beautiful to ‘breathe new air’.
I also of course have to add that you look SIMPLY STUNNING in all pictures and make me wish I was back there.
Violet xxx
Rome has some particular magic that transports you far away. Really, a huge thanks to you ❤️ xx
Sad story but important is that you coped really well. This is a nice outfit, you look beautiful, I like your sweater and shoes.
Thank you so much ❤️ I approciate it. xx
This is a really lovely blog post, always wanted to go to Rome
Filipa xxx
You definetly need to go! xx